for you are all sons of God

I can’t argue anymore.

Complementarian, egalitarian, feminist, Biblical Manhood and Womanhood – what loaded words. The rhetoric weighs me down. Others have already made the arguments, and made them well; I can’t presume to make a contribution. There is nothing new under the sun, and what the arguments make my heart feel now is sorrow and fear – fear that the battles are causing us to dig the trenches deeper until we can no longer see one another, let alone see as the other sees.

For those keeping score, I am an egalitarian and a feminist (and a Biblical Woman, thank you very much), and I hold those positions passionately. I can tell you why, from many angles, but informally over coffee, please. I just can’t argue anymore.

What I intend to do instead is to take my theology degree, and earn more theology degrees. I will learn, read, and pray very hard about God and the church and this gorgeous broken world (not about feminism because what God wants is so much bigger than that, no, the good news is that oppressed and oppressors can and will be free). And then I intend to read, think, write, and teach with such violent passion, such excellence, that the argument is moot, and I will do so as a woman who wants, even needs her theology to be logical but also beautiful, relational, mysterious in ways that few men have ever written it to other men. We theologians have the task of re-understanding, reframing the truth again and again, and I plan to do it through my own frame, and to do it so well that the seminary presidents who refuse to hire my sisters and I will know they have made a mistake.

And if it ever happens that one of them takes the courageous, humble step of peering back out from behind his trench, extends a hand of friendship – I hope with all my heart that I will run with abandon across no-man’s-land to ask his forgiveness as well, for being angry when I should have tried to understand, for arguing when I should have loved, for asserting my right to have no headship and forgetting that my head is Christ. I hope I will embrace him, childlike, as we can afford to be when we finally dismantle our defenses; for the cross accomplished not only our equality as sons but also our reconciliation as brothers.

Until then, I can’t argue anymore.

(Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.)(1 John 3:18)

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10 thoughts on “for you are all sons of God

  1. Radical Feminism has turned many women off, So I guess it’s ok that you are one, I hope not radical. I adhere to the portrait of a Godly woman described in Proverbs 31. I agree that the battle lines are there and that’s sad.

  2. I love this. Such hope, forgiveness, and love. If only we threw those things about as freely as we did our dividing lines. You have given me much to think about, thank you.

  3. “I will do so as a woman who wants, even needs her theology to be logical but also beautiful, relational, mysterious in ways that few men have ever written it to other men. ” This is why we really do need each other. I want to read of the beauty, the relationship and the mystery. Men are comfortable to write of logic, power and conquest. We can have a hard time falling in love with Jesus.

    The irony for me is that one day I will be the Bride of Christ. Glorious!

    “There is nothing new under the sun, and what the arguments make my heart feel now is sorrow and fear – fear that the battles are causing us to dig the trenches deeper until we can no longer see one another, let alone see as the other sees.” This also captures much for me in my outlook. Thanks

  4. I love this so much! I’m not an apologist. While I love words and hope I use them well, I want to love with my actions. I want to love and act right into the freedom all of us should have in Christ, male and female, and I want to bring anyone with me who wants to come. We really don’t have time to argue. There is too much work to be done.

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